Living, Learning and what appears to be losing.
I am more than a parent, I am a living, learning & often a seemingly losing human..
Sometimes its easy to get caught up being one thing or sometimes that’s just the way the world sees us. I am a mum of two wonderful imperfect teens, I often feel like or perhaps I too have been sold the story, that to do this job, having your shit sorted is a prerequisite and this my friends sets me up for a losing battle right there.
I am many, many things, having my shit sorted is not overly one of them. I like too, I feel relaxed when I do, actually I feel like a fully-fledged grown up but when I don’t which is a bit of the time, I bring making myself wrong to the party and boy does she sit down and make herself real comfy, really quick.
Why? As you may have noticed if you have read any of my other Blogs, I seem to have more questions than actual answers, sorry about that.
So, to be a parent is a tough gig and if anyone else is telling you it’s not, well let’s not even go there hey, lets send them our light and love because at some point they are really going to need it. Every stage has its challenges, just the same as being an actual person can be very difficult at times. Basically, a lot of the time I am trying to teach the things I’m still trying to learn.
Time management lol not my greatest skill, I am the person still telling herself she works great under pressure, reality, got no choice but to do it this way because I have 17million hours’ worth of stuff to get done, mmm in approximately 45min. I get there in the end, often flustered but always with the same song playing in my head of “why didn’t I get that done earlier, it feels so much better now it’s finished, when will you learn” Isn’t that the question of all time, when will I learn????
In actual fact, if I choose to see myself through loving and compassionate eyes, I am learning. Have I mastered this, that’s a big no but improved massively, yes and at times this can still be hard to notice. When I have told the kids to make sure they are all ready to go and they need to have their stuff all sorted, make sure you leave plenty of time, so you don’t get flustered lol oh I can see you smirking at me, mumbling the words hypocrite and that’s fair cause at this point I’m trying to remember where I put my car keys as I’m shoving the sports uniform in the wash that I was going to do this morning, while the whole time I’m thinking where did I hide my secret stash of lollies because I would like to make these feelings go away (this statement requires its very own blog, don’t worry I know). We always get there and more often than not, it is smoothly, calmly and on time, that’s because I am learning that to avoid the chaos, I need to sort my shit a little better. On the days where we are all in the car and no one is speaking and everyone is looking out their window because everyone has cracked the shits within the mayhem, well they are the days I am trying to choose self-compassion and remember I am not losing; I too am still learning. I am also grasping at the fact that in those moments my kids are learning that life can be messy and chaotic but learning to be adaptable and roll with imperfect situations in life, really is what gets us the through the harder stuff.
Be kind to your self and remember you too are a living, learning human xx