I Wish they knew

Why? tell me why we are still living in a time and world that is promoting and selling the same old story, the one where we are placed on this incredible earth to be looked at. Tell me why I keep seeing such young girls post themselves on social media in poses that would once have been saved for the covers of a men’s magazine. Tell me why are we still so stuck on the worth of a woman depending on how she looks or what she weighs, why are they still advertising anti age creams on a 25-year-old woman, tell me why they are still promoting eating disorders by still weighing kids in sport. Tell me, why are we still living lives of comparison, only now it’s in a world of impossible, fully edited, carefully curated standards???

As a holistic counsellor to young people, it hurts my brain, breaks my heart and crushes my soul every time I hear them tell me all the things that are wrong with their beautiful, growing bodies. It also saddens me just as much when I see a young girl posting a photo with the pouty lips, boobs up and let’s not forget rocking those bedroom eyes. Some may say she is loving and embracing her body, I say she is confusing the likes of the others to her worth.

I just want to clarify I’m not anti-everything and I’m a believer in each to their own and whatever floats your boat but I definitely think we can do better for our young people and for each other. I’m not sure why we keep blaming the younger generation for so much destructive behaviour, when really, I think as adults we should stand up and take some responsibility for the environment we have created for them and choose what we do moving forward.

I am by no means exempt nor better than anyone else but I am continuing to try and do better. I have had to do a lot of hard and uncomfortable work on myself because I choose to be part of the solution and to create the desperately needed change. I choose to have honest conversations with my teenagers around what is reality and what is make believe because in the world they are in, its really hard to tell. Some of the adults in their lives are using filters on their socials, the porn industry is so inviting and accessible, even vaping is targeted to children like lollies. The famous people of their time have a team of people ready to add hair and eyelashes, putting fillers in lips and butts, to only show them the end result of their glamourous life. Is it really any wonder our young people are in struggle.

So, I have conversations about the fact that it all comes back to money because there is no money to be made from a self-excepting, self-compassionate person that feels that they are enough just as their imperfect self. I explain that perfection is an illusion, I explain that the people you are comparing your bodies to online are filtered, unrealistic, most likely selling something and not to mention their body probably consumes their whole life. I explain that the porn industry is nothing like healthy, consensual sex or love, it is an industry that more often than not targets, vulnerable young women that often have daddy issues or need to pay for a habit picked up to escape a less than loving life. I have the shitty conversations that I wish I didn’t have to have because I wish our world was better and easier for them to navigate, I wish they knew the simplicity of looking in the encyclopedia for the right answer and knowing it was the truth as we knew it, not having to figure out what’s fake news or God help me say the sentence ‘but I saw it on Tik Tok’. I have the conversation that losing doesn’t make you a loser, failing is learning and being human is hard but you can do hard things because that’s what you choose, not just giving up because life isn’t Insta perfect.

I wish our beautiful young people knew that their uniqueness is a gift to be shared, their bodies are their vessels to create meaningful, wonderful lives, I wish they knew that they are enough and loved just as they are in this very moment. I wish they knew that we only have a certain amount of hours on this earth and I don’t wish for them to waste a single one comparing themselves to something they think they should be, when who they are is magical.

with love Kell xx