Why Her

So before I go too far, I probably need to start by letting you know that my Warriors are not really about a cute card with some fluffy words but they are my experiences, my hurts and heartaches, my growth, wisdom that is gained only through my lessons learned & usually the hard way, these warriors are my soul laid bare.

Each Warrior has an important message to share & they are all equally important messages and will touch everyone differently. When I was creating my Warriors I saved one space just for me & for what my heart needed, what the little girl within me needed, what my insecure teenager within needed to know & comfort for the soul of the woman I am today and the one I will become tomorrow.

This card ended up being, Thank Your Body xx

I tapped into my heart & sat in front of a blank piece of paper in silence, then I cried as I created her but she ended up taking my hurt away as she evolved. In the beginning she was desperate, damaged and dark, by the end she offered me hope, forgiveness and light. As long as I can remember I have been a good girl & taken on all the worldly messages that I must under no circumstances wholeheartedly love my body, actually I probably shouldn't even remotely like it. I must always pick it apart and change something about it. What I can tell you is that its not a size thing because over the years I have been so many different sizes that my wardrobe is seriously confused but it is a body thing because I have always found something to change, fix or shamefully hide, regardless of my weight.

I have done a lot of work over the years gaining self awareness & let me tell you, seeing your own shit for what it is can be mighty uncomfortable at times but always worth it in the end. I no longer buy into the story that we are told about not being good enough or even just ok just as we are. This has taken a long time & some days my inner mean girl (her name is Rhonda Rotten Box) still tries to push me over and back in to old patterns. 

I had a real turning point about body image, it was when I watched Embrace. It is a total game changer & exposes everything for what it is. It was a particular part when women on the street were asked to describe their body, one after the other, the words were brutal, Disgusting was the word that got me. My heart just sank, my throat was so heavy and my eyes held back the years of hurt, Disgusting, what a nasty word.

So from then on the process truly began, I felt angry at times over the set up & bullshit we are fed. Things such as women don't have hair, unless it is perfectly groomed on your head, my big toes begs to differ. Chuck on these crazy high, uncomfortable shoes and walk glamorously on your stilts because your legs will look longer and that will make you sexier. Pout your lips like a porn star and pick a filter (and that's nothing against porn stars, you do you), it doesn't matter that your 12 because you will be prettier & remember if they aren't pouty enough don't worry they can fix that too. I am all for doing what makes you feel good but when it makes you question your worth, that's where I see the issue. I don't spend my energy being angry about it anymore, even though it still makes me shake my head in a "Is this for real" kind of way but I choose to focus my energy on reminding women & girls of all ages, that they are already divinely beautiful.

So my 'Thank Your Body' Warrior is my reminder to do exactly that.

I thank you for remembering to breathe in the cold ocean, early in the morning when my soul needed washing. Thank you for allowing me the sensation and warmth of holding my children and the comfort I'm given by being held. Thank you for the last touches goodbye & the first cuddles hello. Thank you for the wild nights, crazy adventures & standing so still outside that I could hear the moon. Thanks for all the beautiful moments that you have allowed me, even though I was so unkind and mean to you because you didn't look a certain way. I choose to live in gratitude of all that you allow me to do, I choose to respect you and speak lovingly and kindly to you. I choose to Thank My Body instead of hating it.

If I am here for only one life, I'm pretty sure the purpose of it has nothing to do with how I look. That's why she is honoured at the top of the pack, a reminder that my body is not my worth, it is an incredible vessel that gets me around so I can do incredible things and it deserves to be nurtured & cared for. I invite you to live a life with a thankful heart towards your body and see how different the world can look.

Kell xx